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About Varied / Hobbyist Core Member Madeline ClericoFemale/United States Group :iconcontortionclub: ContortionClub
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Barbie is now making curvy dolls.

Not only that, they're making petite and tall dolls, too.  There are four different body types, seven different skin tones, 22 different hairstyles, leading to a grand total of 33 new dolls coming out this spring.…

I kinda want a curvy doll.  But the articulation for these guys looks to be seriously lacking.  Like, we'll be lucky if their knees bend.  I hate that in a doll.  But, if these guys sell well, they'll keep making them! And they might make pivotal bodies!

I really like the doll of #38, but I would want the outfit #37 is wearing.

I'm trying to get rid of dolls here!
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: God of Thunder
  • Reading: Lord of the Rings
  • Playing: With my dolls
  • Eating: Vanilla Zingers
  • Drinking: Mt. Dew
New Frankie by SparklinBurgndy
New Frankie
So Monster High is releasing more of their old dolls.  I don't know if they're emptying out some warehouses or just realizing they can still make money off of the old stuff.

Anyway, eventually, all of my dolls are going to need beachwear.  I found a Gloom Beach Frankie and a Beach Besties Draculaura.  The Gloom Beach Frankie I immediately wanted to redress and keep.  I like her more subtle makeup and side-parted hair.  She looks younger and sweeter.  The black and white streaks in her hair aren't dominated by that front bump (or whatever you call that).  Her bolt earrings are a lot less jarring than the bright blue skullettes.  She has a blue lightning bolt hair clip that you can see in the last couple of pics but it's on the side of her head and easier to overlook.

So I'm definitely keeping the beach Frankie.

Now I have to decide about the beach Draculaura.
Okay, so I have this brother.

John and I have always pretty competitive with each other. Of course, he's twice my size and four years older, so I was usually on the losing end of those competitions. We both had disastrous first marriages, but he remarried quickly to a woman he'd known since high school. She supported him as he finished his schooling and started a career. They have two children now and John is making enough money that she can stay home with the kids.

Both children are earnest little angels who love Jesus and ponies.

And no one who doesn't have children can ever be tired and if you didn't have a spouse to fucking support you through college and raise your toddler in a different house so you can study you're just lazy.

Understand why I like Loki so much? Yeah.

So anyway, I haven't spoken to my brother in three years. We didn't have a fight or anything, I just started working nights and it became really inconvenient to talk to me on my schedule.


I've never even met my niece.

I've had a few people tell me I should tell him off, but I was like: No, I'm saving it until I'm on my boat in the Caribbean. I've posted a few updates on Facebook, but nothing that says what my plans are or where I'm going. I'm just selling stuff because I'm 'decluttering my life' and 'getting ready for the big move'. If you know me, you've already heard my plans and you didn't learn about them on Facebook.

(Does that mean I'm closer to my DA followers than Facebook friends? That's exactly what it means. I trust you guys with a lot more than Fbook. Anyway.)

I posted some pictures of my kimono for selling to a cosplay group I follow and sniffled over the fact that all my pretty kimonos were heading off to new homes. My mother innocently comments that kimonos are too hot for the Caribbean anyway.


The next freaking day I get a message from John that I need to come over and say goodbye to Jackson and Bee before I leave. A) Once again, the burden of making contact is put on me. B) Say 'goodbye' to Bee? How about saying 'hello' to Bee?! You know, since I've never even met her before! I can't even remember what her real name is! I think it's Brooklyn, but don't quote me on that!

I knew you were a piece of shit, John, but stop proving me right so hard!


So I found Bee's birth announcement.  Her first name *is* Brooklyn.  You know what her middle name is? Michael. Not Michaela, but Michael. You know who else's middle name is Michael? My brother.  Also, his first name is John. His son's name is Jackson.  Do you know what Jackson means? It means 'son of John'.  How did I wind up related to such a frigging narcissist?! What's that quote? 

"With family like this I would have to confess/
I'd be better off lonely, distraught and depressed!"

Verity probably sings this to Loki to cheer him up at Yule.

  • Mood: Stunned
  • Listening to: Flowers on the Wall - The Statler Brothers
  • Reading: Lord of the Rings
  • Playing: Sims 2
  • Eating: Cherry pie
  • Drinking: Wine
Thordis didn’t know what to make of the second knock at the door, but she was more than slightly pleased to see her best friend, Elsie.

“Someone’s cheeks are rosy,” Elsie observed.

Thordis blushed, but swatted her friend on the arm.

“Is he up yet or did you wear him out?” The human woman asked, peering over Thordis’ head.

“I haven’t finished your dress yet!” the dwarf blurted, trying shove her friend back out of the door.

“I didn’t expect you to make any progress on the dress,” Elsie scoffed.  “Bette said she saw your errant husband in the market and he was ever so handsome.  Brought you some milk and butter, by the way.”

Thordis gave up trying to oust Elsie from the house.

“Luc is upstairs, getting dressed.  He had a very long journey and slept late.  You know you don’t have to bring me milk and butter; your affianced has provided more than enough gold to cover the dress.”

“Has Liam been in for his fitting yet?” Elsie asked, putting a jar of milk and a round of butter on the table.  “The wedding is in a fortnight.”

“No, he says he can wear any old thing; your dress is what’s important.”

Thordis hadn’t caught her own reflection in a mirror while Luc was standing up for their family, but it was likely similar to the look Elsie wore now: fluttery and smitten and hardly believing her own luck.  The dwarven seamstress had to smile.  She and Elsie had made fast friends when she arrived in the village.

Short and shapely (for a human), the blonde milkmaid claimed that they must be sisters.  The dairy woman’s own husband had disappeared before the Great War, leaving Elsie in poverty with a single hungry cow.  Elsie had built up her herd and business, becoming, if not rich, then at least financially comfortable.

Then Sir Liam settled into the village.

The knight had earned his title and fortune in battle.  He was tall and fierce and stern, with piercing blue eyes that looked straight through you.  Most of the townspeople were rightly terrified of him, but admitted having a decorated war hero around kept the peace.  He was deemed tough but fair.

What on earth the genial, giggling Elsie saw in such a hard man was an utter mystery.  He stopped into the tavern for a meal, when the dairy woman, already deep in her cups, approached him.

“Hello!  It’s my birthday today!” (It wasn’t.) “How about a kiss?”

Those acquainted with Sir Liam and his ferocity were stunned to see him staring at the little blonde with something like panic.  Elsie didn’t wait for an answer, just tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

After a moment, Sir Liam placed a chaste kiss on her lips, blushing behind his graying beard.

Elsie beamed at him, thanked him for the birthday kiss, then left him be and launched into her ‘life of the pub’ routine.  She may not have been a classical beauty, but the gods had blessed her with an endless sense of humor, a head for japes, stories, and extremely rude songs.

Perhaps such a fountain of laughter spoke to a lonely, neglected part of Sir Liam.  Whatever the reason, the two quickly became sweethearts.  Sir Liam would set out to ride his great war horse in the morning, the beast’s steel shoes striking sparks on the cobblestones, only to be seen walking along a cow path as Elsie took her herd to pasture.  The fiery steed would compete for grazing with the red and white cows.  Elsie usually brushed down her cattle and tended them while they grazed.  Sometimes Sir Liam distracted her so a cow would gently set her lyre curved horns against his chest and push him away so she could get her fair share of petting and brushing.  Eventually he learned to bring apples for the cows and they tolerated his distraction of their mistress better.  

The knight’s ferocity softened around Elsie like butter on a hearth.  The town agreed that while they made an odd pair, they complimented each other well.  It was to the surprise of absolutely no one when the announcement was made that they were to be married.

Thordis was still half afraid of Sir Liam, but she was happy for her friend.  Wait . . . Sir Liam was . . . tolerable, she supposed, but what would happen when Elsie feasted her eyes on Luc?  He was far, far more handsome than the graying knight!  And far more gentle and kind . . . and funny! Luc could crack a joke in the midst of telling someone off!  And Elsie had a heart of laughter . . . and she was bolder! She could give Luc proper kisses in no time at all!  Of the Mountain, what was Thordis to do?!

“More company?”

Luc was descending the stairs, now properly dressed in a few spare things Thordis kept around for selling.  And oh, he looked so handsome in that green tunic; it brought out the green in his hazel eyes.

Elsie dipped into a curtsy.

“Elsie Ourfille, at your service,” she said.  “I’m Thordis’ best friend, but I doubt she’s been talking about me all night.”

“Your name hasn’t been mentioned,” Luc admitted, bowing back.

“I’d think it odd if it was!”

Elsie turned back towards Thordis, waggled her hand and made a face that could only be described as: ‘meh’.  Now the dwarf matron gave her friend a thoroughly affronted look.  She actually thought Sir Liam was better looking than Luc?!

“Let me show you how your dress is coming along, Elsie!” Thordis said in a loud voice, taking her friend’s arm.  “Though I don’t know why I’m bothering; I didn’t realize your eyesight was so poor,” she added in a normal tone.

Elsie snickered as she was led into Thordis’s workshop.

“I expect he looks much better from your angle,” she offered.  “Liam’s so tall he’s probably just the wrong end of a pair of nostrils from where you’re standing.”

“Don’t even try to tell me Liam’s better because he’s taller.”

“Not at all; they’re all the same height laying down.”

Thordis blushed and shoved Elsie’s hip.  Elsie swung her hip back, catching Thordis in the ribs.

“As long as he’s worth the climb to you . . .”

Elsie’s hip check barely threw Thordis off- balance, while the human was shoved a few steps over by the dwarf’s playful swat.  

Luc followed the pair, pretending not to hear the friendly comparison of better halves.  It was nice to see Thordis laughing and giggling.  She had been as tense as a bowstring for much of the previous day.  Even this morning saw her defending her family against idiots.  Luc much preferred her as he saw her now; snickering with her friend like a school girl telling an off-color joke.  Of course, he really liked how he had seen her last night.  Cuddly and warm and soft; that was the kind of thing he liked to see in his wife.  It was grand that she could stand her ground and fight, but she had done that for far too long.  She needed a rest and a chance to be soft.  Luc would do the fighting for her.

Thordis pulled aside a screen and gestured to a cream and white dress with accents of red.  Elsie’s hands went to her mouth.  A line appeared between her brows.

 “Do you like it?” Thordis asked worriedly.

Elsie sniffled hard and loud.  Her eyes took on a shine.

 “I never thought I’d have anything so fine,” she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes.

 “Oh Elsie . . . .” Thordis gave her friend a hug.

It's a Cha-Cha

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 31, 2015, 8:39 AM
So the house sale fell through.  The buyers' house didn't pass inspection, so *their* buyer put the brakes on that sale, which put the brakes on *our* sale and yeah, fuck.

But I just have to remember; two steps forward and one step back is not a failure. It's a cha cha.

So, that aside, the more  I work on Progressive Kingdoms, the more harsh the halflings become.   If name brand Hobbits are country mice, my halflings are wharf rats.  A friend tossed off the phrase 'compressed belligerence' but it's compressed everything, really. It's like every emotion is cranked to eleven and then forced into a package of 1/4 the mass.

Human Guard: Aye, it's easy to fight one halfling -- that's why you never see    *ONE* halfling.  The filthy wee savages run in packs! Give one a kick and there's five more carving out your kidneys afore you can turn about!

It's almost reversed in this world; dwarves are relatively low key, law-abiding creatures and halflings are always on the look out for how much they can get away with.

Maybe I shouldn't listen to this song while writing the halflings:

Shamrocks CSS

Code by CrimsonReach
  • Mood: Stunned
  • Listening to: Josh Groban sing show tunes
  • Reading: Lord of the Rings
  • Watching: Desolation of Smaug
  • Playing: Kingdoms of Middle Earth
  • Eating: Pizza
  • Drinking: Champagne
Barbie is now making curvy dolls.

Not only that, they're making petite and tall dolls, too.  There are four different body types, seven different skin tones, 22 different hairstyles, leading to a grand total of 33 new dolls coming out this spring.…

I kinda want a curvy doll.  But the articulation for these guys looks to be seriously lacking.  Like, we'll be lucky if their knees bend.  I hate that in a doll.  But, if these guys sell well, they'll keep making them! And they might make pivotal bodies!

I really like the doll of #38, but I would want the outfit #37 is wearing.

I'm trying to get rid of dolls here!
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: God of Thunder
  • Reading: Lord of the Rings
  • Playing: With my dolls
  • Eating: Vanilla Zingers
  • Drinking: Mt. Dew

Getting down to picking the name change. 

32 deviants said Stillwater
13 deviants said MacBeth


Add a Comment:
BlueEyedMink Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015
ShaniLeyba Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015
I'd love to see more metalocalypse!
ComandantPwnzor Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015
Thanks for the fave Loki lol smile 
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
Tusenkunst Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
kisameisahhhhh Featured By Owner May 30, 2015
(I'm sorry for commenting this instead of messaging it I'm on my
Phone and it's not letting me send messages)
hey there, I've been a fan of yours for a good long while, years and years, and going back and rereading all the old Chack and ClayB and Phooka and I wanted to know if you have any plans to pick them back up? I do love your new original fiction too though! I'd understand if your interest in them has waned (Thordis is absolitely lovely)
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, right now I'm trying to use any writing time I have to work on OF stuff.  Because I would like to make some monies, pls.  Though I am going to stick the Knight bit in there, since that's far enough away to be OF already.
Hassliebling Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Student Photographer
Can you do me a request?
MensjeDeZeemeermin Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015
May a drive of noble dragons circle your head today, showering you with earned praise and wonderful, intricate presents... May your friends think of you and smile and laugh, may those you love think of you and feel better and hope to see you soon.  May the year's journey 'round the sun that begins today leave you wiser, happier, more learned and eager to take a running start at the next one, and may it all begin with these sincere wishes that you have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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