Independence

“Loz!  Are you ready?!” Zack called.

“Just a second!”

“Dad, why does Loz get his own house?” Miki asked.  

“Because he’s a grown – because he’s older than you,” Zack answered.

“Grampa Cid says it’s because he’s in the doghouse so much you decided to build him one,” Miki continued.

“Thank you, Grampa Cid,” Zack muttered.  “Miki, you know what happened; after Eri was born, Angeal and Genesis moved in, Yazoo moved out, and we had to do some re-arranging.  There was only so much we could build onto the main house and Loz didn’t want to leave the family.”

Zack looked around at the tiny house on the point by the beach.  It was little more than a detached studio apartment; a bathroom, a living room, and a sleeping loft.  There wasn’t a kitchen so Loz came up to the main house for meals.  Unless he was working.  Or hung over.  The clone was twenty-one even though Zack would peg him at about fifteen mentally.  It was odd how the remnants grew up; some behaviors were extremely child-like while they seemed quite mature in others.  Loz never did learn to read beyond a second grade level, but could analyze charts and schematics so accurately his boss had him check out plans for multiple-story demolitions to make sure they’d fall correctly.

There were some blueprints on the desk. Zack tried not to snoop too blatantly.    

The little house was surprisingly neat.  The last time Zack had been inside he thought Loz was trying to carpet the place with dirty clothes.  That was a few months ago; apparently the big remnant had learned to pick up after himself.  The couch looked new . . . so did the coffee table . . . and there were a few potted plants around – they had to be plastic; Loz was allergic to about anything that flowered.

Big, bad, evil remnant; his only weakness was pollen.

This was extremely surprising, in fact.  It wasn’t like Loz at all.  Zack did a quick sniff, but didn’t smell anything that would indicate a female in residence.  The decoration didn’t look feminine; it was fairly modern and there was an empty picture frame on the wall.  Why would he hang an empty . . . ah.

Zack spied a picture on the desk; a picture of a nicely decorated room that matched Loz’s tiny abode almost exactly.  So Loz was copying something.  That made more sense.  He’d found the frame, but not a picture he fancied.  Well; good. The big goof was growing up.  

Akira walked in and gestured impatiently.

Loz is still doing his hair, Miki signed.

Akira rolled his eyes, then looked around.  He spied a magazine on the coffee table and picked it up.  Zack almost laughed when he saw it was a copy of GQ.  Of course, Loz couldn’t read, so why have a magazine?  Probably for the same reason he had plastic plants: they were in the picture.  Akira flipped through the publication quickly, taking note of the pictures but little else.  The boy stopped and flipped a page backwards, then stared up at his father with wide eyes.

Loz, he signed, pointing at the magazine.

Yes, it’s Loz’s magazine, Zack confirmed.

“Why does Loz even have a magazine?” Miki signed and spoke at the same time.  “He can’t read!  Nathan says Loz is dyslexic like he is.”

Akira smacked the magazine with his hand, drawing the attention of his father and sister.

No, this is Loz! He signed.  In this picture with this naked lady.

“Naked lady?!” Zack squawked.

He snatched the magazine from his son’s hands and stared.  There was an ad for cologne.  In it, a woman showing her nude back and shoulder was draped across Loz’s bare chest.  The remnant’s eyes were staring at the camera.  The glowing green could have been photoshop, or could have been Loz’s own contribution.

‘Get in touch with your inner animal.’ The tagline read.

“By the gods,” Miki squealed.  “Daddy, you said he worked for a demolition company!”

“He does!” Zack squealed back.  “I thought!  There’s blueprints . . .”

“I’m ready,” Loz said, coming out of the bathroom.  “Are we going to be late for the party?”

Another surprise – Loz was dressed like he belonged in GQ.  A black shirt with charcoal stripes and black slacks outlined his muscular body, while making his pale skin and hair pop deliciously.  A simple silver chain decorated his throat.  Another mimicry?  He didn’t dress that way for work, obviously, and usually was in jeans and T-shirt by dinner.

“What?” Loz asked.

Zack flipped the magazine around to show Loz the cologne ad.  The remnant grinned.

“Oh yeah.  Chaud cologne.  It smells like an explosion at a chemical factory, but they paid well,” Loz said.  “That’s how I got my new furniture.”

“When Auntie Aeris held her tulips up to your face, you sneezed for three hours straight and turned as red as a lobster,” Miki declared.  “How did you wear cologne?”

“I didn’t have to wear it in the picture.  Good thing it wasn’t scratch and sniff,” Loz declared.

There’s a naked lady laying on you! Akira observed with delight.  Did you get to see her boobs?!

“Akira!” Zack squawked.

Yes, but I wasn’t allowed to play with them so it doesn’t really count.

Loz struggled to read a greeting card, but of course he could sign!

“I thought you worked for Del Sol Demolitions!” Zack said.  

“I do.  Sometimes people want to take my picture to sell stuff.  If it pays well and I don’t have to do anything stupid, I do that, too,” Loz said.  

He went to a cardboard box in the corner and pulled out a glass bottle.

Akira, you can have some if you want.  They gave me ten bottles.

Cool!

Akira immediately ripped the top off and blasted himself full in the chest with it.  Zack held his nose against the chemical stink.  Miki followed suit.  Akira desperately tried to wave the stench away.

It smells terrible!

You should have sniffed the bottle first, dummy! Miki signed, backing away.

Loz’s face contorted and he began sneezing desperately, his pale skin turning red.  Zack and Miki fled the tiny house, followed by Akira, who was signing for help.  Finally, Loz stumbled out, face red, nose swollen and snot splattered on the front of his expensive shirt.

What a great way to start a party.